Sunday 28 April 2013

Digging Deep

Last time, I talked a wee bit about the characters in "Absolution" - just a general round table introduction, if you will.  Now, let's delve a little deeper.

I mentioned the premise behind the story - what if you did something so awful that you let guilt and fear overwhelm you?  Instead of facing up to what you'd done, you decided to take what you assumed to be the easier option: you didn't face up to it at all.  You left.

That's what Jack did.  He thought that leaving would be easier, but was it really?  While everyone else got on with their lives, he's been living in limbo, his mind in an endless loop as the events of that night replay over and over in his head.  He hasn't moved on.  In fact, running away from the problem has meant that he's still living in the past.

One of the things I kept saying to myself as I wrote from Jack's point of view, was that he's beating himself up over what happened.  He's reliving it constantly, not only wondering what he could have done differently, but knowing for sure.  That has to be a living hell.  Because he's not there to talk through any of this with anyone, he's internalising it.  A problem shared is a problem halved, right?  Therefore, keeping it to yourself just doubles it until it becomes seemingly insurmountable.

He knows he did the wrong thing by leaving, but as the days turn into weeks and months, then years, he realises that going home now wouldn't make any difference to anyone - despite what Tom says.  The longer you leave these things, the harder they are to face.

I think we can all relate to that one, in some form or another.

Therein poses the dilemma: stay or go?  There's no such thing as the easy way out.  Both options have their negatives, but staying and facing the music at least affords you your self-respect.  And that's a precious thing to lose.

In the meantime, Jack's been doing his best to live with the guilt (using a very dubious crutch) and promising himself that one day, he would fix everything.  The only problem with that of course, is that "one day" inevitably comes when you least expect it.

Time to step up and try to make amends - if that's even possible.  Second chances are a rare gem indeed.  When you're given one, you know that it's time to pull out all the stops because this is it.

Next time, we'll see things from Ally's point of view but until then, I wanted to share the story synopsis with you, as promised...


A freak accident, a moment in time, and life changes forever. Stay or go - there's no such thing as the easy way out.

The accident wasn't his fault but in the horrific aftermath, Jack's actions may have possibly caused consequences he could never have foreseen. Consumed with guilt and unable to listen to reason, he takes the only option he believes is open to him: he disappears. Living a quiet life away from everyone he loves, he drops off the grid but the memories continue to haunt him.

Four years later, a funeral signals a homecoming fraught with tension as he finally forces himself to face up to the consequences of his actions. Betrayed and angry, his former best friend Callum wants nothing more than to see him disappear once again - for good this time. Meanwhile his ex-girlfriend Ally has moved on and he can see that his return is anything but easy for her. People change, life goes on and things are never as simple as they seem.  The past has a habit of catching up with you when you least expect it.

Living with regret and guilt almost tore him apart, but there is no guarantee that trying to make a
mends will soothe his soul or help the people he loves the most. 

Courage has many faces.  Fighting for what you believe in, no matter what.  Showing strength of mind and body when the cards are stacked against you.  Rising to the challenge and playing through the pain. 

And yet sometimes, courage means simply standing your ground.



I love to hear your comments (sorry Di for accidentally deleting yours - stupid phone!!) so if you feel so inclined, let me know your thoughts!

~Amanda



10 comments:

  1. Such a powerful thing to consider! We all make mistakes in this life time and sometimes, it seems so much easier to just go, take yourself away from the people you could cause more hurt. What we are really doing though, is saving ourselves from having to face it and deal with it. This is such a human nature dilemma and something that we all can relate to!

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    1. Thanks so much for your feedback Karen! I like to write about choices - what makes us choose one thing over another. Most of my stories are basically character studies in human behaviour :)

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  2. YES I WOULD LOVE TO READ YOUR BOOK!!!
    Even in the little snippets, I am already drawn to it for personal reasons. I feel a certain empathy towards Jack but cannot wait to see what happens next.. as they say.
    There's a past to be faced, and you cannot always hide from the thoughts and feelings left behind by you and the ones left, for part of the future is dealing with the past. Learning and making mistakes in life, makes us human.

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    1. Thanks so much Leeanne! I hoped that the subject would resonate with others as it does with me. I mean, who doesn't want a second chance to put something right from their past? x

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  3. Oh Amanda...! I can't wait to read your book! You've totally whet my apetite :-) Sounds fantastic!

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    1. Thanks Rhonda! I'm so glad you let me know, and that it seems like something you might enjoy reading - yay! :)

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  4. I think 'Absolution' will appeal to a lot of individuals as we've have all had those moments in life where we either face the music or plan an escape .. love it Amanda can't wait to read your next post x

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    1. Thanks Tracy :) Human behaviour is always so fascinating - what makes us choose one thing over another, how we find ways of justifying decisions to ourselves so we can live with them etc. I think that most people can relate to having something in their past that they would like to change. Hopefully that will make in an interesting read. The next post is due within the next day or so, so not too long to wait :) x

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  5. Have only just gotten around to reading about Jack and Ally and it still has me wanting more. It's like reading lots of little mini books until we get the real thing. I think there are going to be many facets of this book that we can all relate to. Thank you for getting us all so excited :)

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    1. That's great news - thanks Di! I didn't know of any other way to lead you all into the story except to introduce to you each character individually, so I'm really happy you're enjoying the posts so far :) Thanks for reading AND commenting!

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